Tag Archives: change

When Walls Fall {Thoughts on Change}

The rubble is everywhere. 

The dust of it clings to my shoes and hangs in the air and sticks in my throat.

I sip brown coffee, the way I like it rich with cream, and survey the destruction.

I’m excited.

The walls that unnecessarily stood around the living room are gone and the room in which I sit, though strewn with the debris of demolition and pizza boxes and a stray lego or two, is wide open, filled with light and free of obstruction.

Why we decided now was the perfect jumping-in point, I’ll never know, but it seemed like the right time to yank out the tattered carpet and remove the barrier walls.

This change is something we’ve wanted since we moved in over a decade ago.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if this space was open?”

“Does this wall serve any purpose besides holding a light switch?”

We asked these questions for years, but left the project untouched until now.

Because change is messy.

Change is destructive and chaotic and all-consuming.

Change is in itself a season, a period of unrest that puts to rest the “had beens” and illumines the future.

Change requires an investment, patience, thought and sweat equity.

Change promises a shiny new reality but demands one march through fields of uncertainty littered with the multi-layered “what-ifs” that snag your steps and distract you from the goal.

My sheetrock dusted floor and piles of debris remind me of times in my life that change came unbidden. They serve as symbols to the seasons that my life needed renovated, my relationships refurbished, my walls torn down and the surroundings of my soul cleaned out.

I never wanted those seasons of change. I fought them like a baby fights sleep. I prayed for others to change, for protection, for solutions I might find more comfortable.

But God asked his questions:

“Wouldn’t it be lovely if this space was open?”

“Do these walls and this clutter serve any purpose?”

“What if things were different?”

“Do you trust me, really, Alyssa?”

And the sledgehammer swung.

And the saw sang and the timbers fell.

I remember one particular morning when the symbolic dust of demolition clogged the air of my life. I was spent from a night crying and praying, sleepless and wrung out. I did not welcome this change. God was wrong. It didn’t need to look like this. The summer morning was deceptive and taunting in her sparkling beauty as I stumbled out in the early light, physically sore from the pain of broken relationships.

I had not signed up for this. I hated this change. I wanted my life to remain built along the design of my making. I hadn’t seen the sagging floor, the tilted walls, the overall screwy haphazard state of my priorities. I had acted so long in a certain pattern that I couldn’t seen the truth of the dangerous mess I’d created.

On that sunlit morning, God moved in. Sure, I’d known him, loved him called him savior. But like a contractor on-duty 24-7, God began the necessary removal and rebuilding of my personal life. He’d known all along this morning would come, and he was prepared to see the project through to completion.

He opened up my spirit. He set me in a place of spaciousness where the fullness of his goodness could move in and lighten up my existence.

He knows my future, knows what tests lay before me, and I believe that God was preparing the foundational work in my faith that I would need in order to withstand future storms.

This is the God I choose to worship because he proved himself. He’s not wrong. Ever. He is trustworthy even when the plan is to make a veritable wreckage of your life. He never walks away from a jobsite.

If you are facing change, if you are facing the challenges and pain of an overhaul, can I whisper to your soul these words?

Trust. Seek the truth of God’s word, lay your mess at his feet and trust him to see you through this season of change.

It may be overwhelming today. It may be embarrassing and it might make you angry, but just…trust.

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19

 

Linking up for Five Minute Friday

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How Recycling Got Me to Africa

It all started with recycling.

And it led to a trip to Africa.

Yes, as in paper/glass/plastics curbside recycling.

And yes, as in Africa, the continent.

One day my husband announced, “Honey, we can’t change everything. And I know we aren’t going to save the planet or anything, but we can do little things differently and be more responsible for our choices.”

We never recycled before, and then we started to.

Beginning that week, we began using our blue bin, the one the garbage company had issued for recycling actually for that purpose. It had held balls in the garage, potting soil in the garden and snow during the winter when the kids wanted to make a snow-fort. But it had never been placed street-side on garbage day.

Then, one week, it was. And that little change, that decision announced one day, became habit.

What we were unaware of, as we were living our average western lives working and eating and recycling, taking the kids to dance, going to the gym and to the park, is this: little changes lead to bigger ones.

Our caring about being more personally responsible with our trash was a small step toward taking a more honest look at our finances. Were there small changes we could make with our personal finance decisions?

And then, our relationships needed considered. Were we engaged in relationships that were healthy mutually beneficial and did our lives honor God together?

Then, our deeper values and spiritual concerns were examined. What did we really value? What was our family’s “culture” and how were we preparing our children to engage the world?

The baby step of recycling may sound like a silly starting point. But don’t we all get caught in our individual rut? Don’t we get used to the familiar ebb and flow and comfortable with the way things are done?

There are two ways to get out of a rut: you get kicked out or you climb out. Either way, you find yourself up on the surface and the view is different, expanded.

During this subtle shifting in our family-values paradigm, God began to nudge. So many events that seemed unrelated at the time began to line up like dominos. Finally, the smaller changes became bigger, life-altering challenges and we landed in a season where we found ourselves being redefined. And it all came to this question: if we cared about recycling stuff and responsibly spending and raising our children to be compassionate adults, did we care equally about restoring people, reaching them with God’s transcendent love and unremovable grace?

After all we all know that people are more valuable than things and money. So the answer should have been easy-peasy.

But it wasn’t. We were hard-pressed to present proof to our feeble answer: “Yes, we cared about people and sharing Jesus with them.”

We said it with our mouths, but not really with our lives. And although no one was watching, we felt a little chagrined, embarrassed even.

James tells us that faith without proof (works) is lifeless, pulseless, as good as dead.

We really weren’t participating in engaging with others to restore them to their Creator-God or reach them with God’s great love and transforming power and amazing grace. We did small group and church and all the things that western Evangelicals do. We tithed when we “could” more or less and really did love Jesus!

In our rut, we could only see “this much” but we were oblivious to all this potential living and giving and sharing that God had for us out there.

You see the Bible tells us that God has good works prepared for us in advance (Ephesians 2:10). He’s got the adventure planned and the itinerary mapped out, we just have to decide if we’re going to jump in with him.

I don’t know how many years we’d been recycling, but one day my husband and I were talking about big world problems that we sometimes try to solve while sipping iced tea on the patio or driving to Costco. You know the rundown: violent civil wars, child-trafficking, generational poverty and the like.

We are such average Americans, middle-class, union-worker husband, stay-at-home mom that we usually ended the conversations feeling flat and useless.Because, what can average people like us do about any of this? We’d shake our heads and lift up the same childish prayer my children would whisper at bedtime: “And God please help all those starving people in Africa. Help them to find food.”

food for the poorest: canned milk, rice and grain... there were dozens waiting in line for this

And God began to ask us, “Do you really care or do you just want to discuss it?”

“Let’s go to the store and see if we can find chocolate that’s labeled slave free,” suggested my husband, “And coffee, too. We can’t do much, but we can do little things differently. We can start small.”

And so we did. (He suggested coffee and chocolate, of course we went!)

God had us close to the jumping point. It was on that fair-trade-slave-free scavenger hunt that Angelo remembered we had friends that started a coffee business and ministry in Ethiopia.

my husband and a lovely macchiato

Then he took the leap. He looked up their number, had a great conversation, found out we could buy coffee that directly benefited the industrious and impoverished coffee-growers in Ethiopia and support ministry at the same time.

Before we knew it, we were getting passports.

We hugged and kissed our kids, left them in the capable hands of one brave college girl and jumped into the adventure God had for us. We didn’t know why, really. We didn’t have a great purpose. We weren’t going to build a school or teach nurses or adopt a baby.

We were going to see.

We climbed out of the rut and realized the world is very big indeed. And so is the God we worship.

There’s more I could say, and I will sometime. But I’ll share this:

Our coffee that we love and drink every day–the dark, earthy beans touched by so many African hands–is now served to thousands every week at our church. The ministry behind the brew found a strategic partner in our generous and grace-filled church. Two dozen more people decided to get a vision of the beauty and devastation that is Ethiopia — and came back changed, engaged, participating in ministry together with our Christian friends in Africa. Ethiopian missionaries are being supported, women are being taught about God’s true design for them and lives and communities are changing.

He used this average family, to make the connection between local church and Ethiopian ministry. Just people who could only see so far as to make little choices, small changes. But God always sees the long view.

me, walking with Stephne, in Soddo, Ethiopia

Friends, this is the gracious way God works. He leads us by the hand through small and big changes alike and always, always has exciting opportunities, abundant blessings, deeper relationships and always more grace. It’s good for us to embrace small changes, to take time to examine our status quo, to climb up and see the world from a closer-to-heavenly perspective.

If you’re facing life-altering challenges or subtle nudges to make adjustments to your everyday life, I encourage you to be courageous. You never know where God may take you and how he might use you to love others into his saving grace.

me, my friend Sharon, and the beautiful world-changers of Ethiopia

linking with jen! and shanda, too

And here, with Laura @ Playdates at the Wellspring

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Eight Easy Prayers {That just might change everything}

ImageIt’s a wonderful thing to devote time to prayer, you know, the kind of prayer that drops me to my knees in a  face-to-the-floor session that changes me.

But today I’m going to try to pray these eight little prayers.

They are simple, short and maybe if we all tried this in one single day, perhaps the most effective prayer experiment ever:

Forgive me.

Help me to forgive.

Thank you.

Help me to thank you more.

Show me ways to share Jesus.

Make me a blessing to someone today.

Give me love.

Show me ways to give that love away.

That’s all for today. Just those simple all-in-one-breath prayers, all day.

{Feel free to print and put on your mirror, dashboard, wherever and join me!}

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Ask for the way…and walk in it

This is what the LORD says:
“Stop at the crossroads and look around.
Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it.
Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. — Jeremiah 6:16

This is the way…walk in it.

I set out in January 2010 to take care of myself physically, spiritually and emotionally and to wait on God’s care for me and for those I love. I shared that vision with the ladies in my writer’s group.

Honestly, I can’t remember exactly all that prompted this New Year season goal; an entire year has passed and the details are lost in the fog of time. I know we had just eked through one more, busy Christmas season and I rang in the New Year with two days of volunteering at my daughter’s ballet gala event. I spent hours away from my other kids, home from school and enjoying their Christmas toys, and hung strands of lights and glittering glass globes in the windows of the theater, plated hundreds of chocolates and created floral arrangements for table centerpieces.

I remember awaking New Years Day not with a hangover or ears ringing from music and blasting party horns, but dehydrated (I’d forgotten to drink much water, or eat anything but chocolates) and exhausted. I had done so much, fulfilled the commitment and expectations of me, but I was completely spent,

sapped,

done.

I felt as if I was shriveling.

In fact, I was.

I looked in the mirror New Years Day 2011 and I was shocked by the wrinkled rings around my eyes, sunk in gray circles, like dingy coins. Everyone in my family asked me, “What’s wrong with you…you look terrible!”

Indeed I did. I guzzled at least a gallon of water, went on to juice and back to water again. I only drank one measly cup of coffee to avoid sabotaging my hydration efforts, so I developed a caffeine withdrawal headache. While my husband and kids and their friends went sledding–the hills were perfect and the weather just right–I stayed behind and made lunch and promised hot cocoa on their return.

I confess that while they were gone, I drank two glasses of water and lay on the couch, doing nothing.

That must have been when the brilliant bulb lit up over my head: take better care of myself; pause before agreeing to another commitment; exercise and breathe and eat with intention.

And I did. The first six months of the year I monitored my food intake, kept a diet diary, even broke down and set financial goals and budgeted with my husband. I lost weight, gained strength and clipped coupons. I took the dog on walks, I read the New Testament three times and started this blog.

And I’m glad I did–because on August 14, our lives came to a screeching halt. I nearly died. My leg was broken in pieces like dry kindling and I was only able to lie on a bed and breathe.

Eventually, I could sit upright, eat meals prepared by others set before me, breathe without oxygen tubes, hop down the hall with my walker (and oh, the searing pain of each hop, I’ll never forget it). Then the glorious day I could take a shower and care for myself without dragging drainage tubes and a nurse along with me.  It was progress, though very slowly.

Yes, the investment in myself mattered because God had led me to see the shortages and shortcomings in me. I took care and listened to his leading and He filled me  up…and then turned my face to a new journey, a new adventure. The trajectory of my life changed before the next New Year, but God knew my future and what I needed to be prepared for. In his goodness He prompted me to walk into that path ahead of time.

Friend, you may be feeling a nudge or a whisper, or an all-out shout.

Is it finances? Relationships? Something secretly eating away at your joy?

Whatever God is calling you out of you can be sure of this:

He has better way and better days ahead (yes, even filled with difficulty, obeying and following Christ always makes us happier, more peaceful people) and, He will see you through and uphold you.

He will not call you down a path of abandonment, but promises his

spirit for companionship,

his strength for the journey,

his wisdom to teach you,

his grace to see you through,

and rest, sweet rest, just when you need it most.

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” — Matthew 11:28-30

linking up here at a holy experience…

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Trash the Resolutions. Cash in the Promises.

“God’s gold is not a miser’s money, but is minted to be traded with. Nothing pleases our Lord better than to see His promises put in circulation; He loves to see His children bring them up to Him and say, “Lord, do as thou has said.” {Charles Spurgeon}

It’s January.

And so our calendars begin with fresh, glossy pages, bearing no marks of tattering or stains that will, inevitably, come.

It’s the clean slate and fresh start we all need. We find, in the turning of the annual clock, a kind of freedom and rebirth. Perhaps last year was brimming over with mistakes, or hurts. Perhaps the marriage you should be thriving within bears down like a weighted blanket; or the financial goals got buried under piles of bills and unplanned crises; or the dreams to be a thinner, happier, more spiritual version of yourself blew away with the March winds.

January, The New Year, affords us the opportunity to throw off that blanket, close those decrepit accounts and dream big once more about doing things right…this time. Doesn’t it?

'Day 125' photo (c) 2009, Bastian - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

So there’s a lot of talk about resolutions, of their keeping and of their being broken. I have actually “revised” my lists before, making them a bit more attainable. I have written resolutions, refused to write them, ignored the tradition altogether–and usually with the same results: no great change.

Because real change doesn’t come with the turning of the calendar, but with the bending of the knee.

Real, sustainable life change isn’t achieved through de-cluttering our closets, signing onto a gym membership or setting the alarm and hour earlier (to make time for the elusive work-out and quiet time); but it comes through being acutely aware of the reality that our currency of trade is ragged and worthless.

Let me explain: We seek and lay hold of change when the fear of things staying the same is greater than the fear of the unknown that change brings.

I recently read of a young woman in her twenties who carried around and upon her frame 500 pounds. (I will find her story for you, I promise!) She was morbidly obese. She had resigned to her presumed fate of an early death following a predictable and lonely life of food and disgrace, loneliness and self-loathing.

But the words of an aging, dying man awoke something buried so deeply within her and shone a sliver of light within her soul.

“I’m so proud of you. I love you so much.”

The man? Her grandfather.

He simply spoke truth.

She says that she kneeled down, asked God for help.

And then she began walking.

Today, she is healthy and more alive than ever. The process of change, though it promised freedom, forced her to reconcile with past hurts and disordered thinking; there were hurdles and high points, to be sure.

When we bend the knee–exhausted by our own selves, filled up but so empty–we impress the ground of our reality with a most forceful blow: because we claim the promises of God.

I don’t know the date (though I’m sure she does), but it wasn’t based on the New Year changing. Her life turned and began anew because of that one man’s unconditional love and grace: he offered it to her freely, she chose to accept it.

Friends, God’s promises are for you. For you. Don’t deny him the opportunity to set you free when he’s demonstrated that all he desires is your freedom, your life made new and whole in the saving, gracious act of Jesus’ sacrifice.

Do you know what God promises you? If you did, it just might make you scrap that list of resolutions and rush to the throne room of God and cash in!

Here’s just a few:

Matthew 25:34

Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father, take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.”

1 John 1:9

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Romans 8:38-9

“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of Gd that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

John 14:27

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do net let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

2 Corinthians 5:17

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

Luke 10:19

“I have given you authority to…overcome the enemy; nothing will harm you.”

Matthew 21:22

“If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

Philippians 4:19

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

Matthew 12:50

“Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

“But he said to me,” My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

John 6:35, 37

“Then Jesus declared,” I am the bread of life. anyone who comes to me will never go hungry, and anyone who believes in me will never be thirsty. All that the Father gives me will come to me and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.”

John 8:31-32

“Jesus said, “If you hold to me teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

Luke 17:6

“If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.”

1 Peter 2:24-5

“He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and the Overseer of your souls.”

Revelation 22:20

“Yes, I am coming soon.”

Spurgeon goes on to say:

Do you think that God will be any poorer for giving you the riches He has promised? do you dream that He will be any the less holy for giving holiness to you? Do you imagine that He will be any the less pure for washing you from your sins? When a Christian grasps a promise…and when he hastens to the throne of grace and cries, “Lord, I have nothing to recommend me but this,”Thou has said it;” then his desire shall be granted.

Our heavenly banker delights to cash His own notes.

Never let the promise rust.

Draw the word of promise out of its scabbard, and use it with holy violence. Think not that God will be troubled by your importunately reminding Him of His promises. He loves to hear the loud outcries of needy souls. It is His delight to bestow favors. He is more ready to hear than you are to ask. The sun is not weary of shining, nor the fountain of flowing. It is God’s nautre to keep His promises:

Therefore, go at one to the throne with

“Do as thou hast said.”

What has God promised you?

Will we set our own resolutions or cash in at the throne of grace and get the good stuff?

What, really, do we have to lose?

Growing Home

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